I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
