he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
