Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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