Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
