do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
