Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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