We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .