i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.