I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle