8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone