She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?