Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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