3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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