You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
