are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
