Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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