is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
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the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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