So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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