Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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