So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
