i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
