They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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