i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
