i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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