Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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