It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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