Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
