Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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