then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
