I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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