Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
