u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
