So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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