And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
