I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
