They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
