You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
