I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
