Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
