Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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