Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize