goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Small penises have feelings too.
only if we run a train.
done.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
