My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just cropdusted the office
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
