Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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