I feel great
I just peed on a car
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
