At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
