I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
