you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
