and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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