So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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