Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
