Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
