I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Panties = found
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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