I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
