Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
