i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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