I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
How external is "for external use only"?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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