idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
