I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
