what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
