Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
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He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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