He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize