Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
