You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
