He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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